Terror Shall Consume

So immature & delusional.

Seems some of his ‘mates’ have had enough of his crying.

I got sent a lovely message informing me that the boys in my former life had wrote a dedicated song about me. I’m not even in that band and yet I’m still helping with the song writing not to mention the amount of appraisal I still get. Good stuff..

Anyway, the lyrics. Wowzer’s! Still to date he/they believe something that’s never even been looked into. I have to admit at first I did believe that I had done wrong and put my hands up. But that really wasn’t the case in the end. Ohwell, I got an apology from the involved parties & the police, not to mention a lovely bit of compensation (Shout out to Barclays). Since that inconvenience I’ve joined a new band of brothers, a real family, real ‘for life’ friends and have achieved more than ever. I don’t need their petty ‘music industry’ approval nor do I want to be reminded of how I ended up being the victim.

One last thing, “You’re not a man” well I’d like to see you try walk in my boots & do what I’ve done. Stay on the Xbox, leave the real mens work to us.

Next stop, Afghanistan.

I hate seeing sadness, it angers me.

I’ll admit that I’ve lost a lot more of my humanity whilst under the guidance of the British Army but that’s the nature of the mind needed to succeed in this line of work.

With the loss or isolation of some senses, primal instincts & self-preservation have been marginally honed/heightened.

I really don’t know how to word anymore of this post without going into an aggressive rant.

Time for bed.

Just finished at Othellos,

Somehow my new phone has a mark on the screen, damaged.

Makes me realise that however my life adapts/changes or evolves I will never be able to get away from my past.

I was a monster, a selfish brute.

The army saved me, I want a chance of trust and dependability again.

I’m ready.

16th of October, 2011 will see me embarking on a 5 hour train journey (like many others) towards a new family, a new beginning & a new start with many promising & exciting chapters to await me.

Everything I know to date will become irrelevant. My name will now form 8 numerical characters, I’ll awake at 5/6am and finish at 11pm (lights out) on a daily routine. My new wardrobe will consist of camouflage covered garments, I’ll be expected to retain information almost instantly within conditions I’ve never faced before & methods not normally favoured by myself.

I’ve had an easy life up until now, I’ll openly admit. (Being a former-musician within today’s music generation, you become surrounded by arrogance and lazy-minded people who just want to repeat their daily routines as easy as the last.) I’m all about challenges and forever learning about myself. I believe this career will cater for all of my needs and will once again make me feel like I belong to a family. A family that will take a bullet for you, an ever-growing band of brothers that you can count on through thick and thin (and no, they don’t fuck you over, stab you in the back when you make a single mistake).

This course that I’m attending will change me, for the better, in many ways. Firstly I will have accomplished a course designed to wean out the weak. I’ll have acquired a full driving license, travelled to places that (on top of all my civilian travelling/touring) are not open to the public/civilians. Muck about with military equipment. Financially become stable/rich & be able to enjoy life’s material related purchases once again. But yes, there are too many pro’s & that’s the end of that.

Goodbye civilian life, holdall is packed.